爱与不爱

爱一个人，可以追求，也可以放弃。
交往时期，必须珍惜，也必须忍让。
分手后，学着呼吸，也要学着爱惜。
伤心，是难免的。
只不过，人总要学着适应。
适应它的不存在，适应没有他的好。
也要学着开心， 然他知道你是坚强的。
可以虚伪，也可以欺骗。
只要他知道，他，是错的。
虽然心里还爱着他，
但却不要让他看见你的懦弱。
一定要坚强，虽然他的心，
已飞去了遥远的地方。
为的，只是让他知道，
还有一个真心的你，在等着他。
或许等待一个已抛弃你的人，是最愚蠢的。
可倘若你是真正的爱他，一切都是值得的。
可以选择放弃他，关键只在于你，爱不爱他。
当你决定放下他的那一刻，就要心狠手辣。
所有对他的纪念品，送给慈善环保。
放弃一个人，需要的，只是时间。
让时间冲淡一切，让一切变成回忆。
千万不要固执，也不要比较。
因为爱情，不能作比较。
不要帮他做宣传，也不要告诉别别人他的不是。
这只会让他，更讨厌你。
虽然你不介意，可是美丽的回忆，可能会因此而毁于一旦。
让他难过，让他内疚，
让他后悔，让他难受。
重要的是，让他知道，
没有他，世界还是如此美丽。
倘若放不下他，那就不要放弃吧！
勇敢追求，自己想要的东西。
放下所有的不开心，擦干眼泪，勇往直前！
有人说，
爱情，
50巴仙是缘分，50巴仙是努力。
只有缘分而不努力，爱情没有结果；
只有努力而没缘分，爱情更不会开花。
爱情不能守株待兔，
只因丘比特，很忙。
他不会等人，只要你找他，他才会帮你实现愿望。
追吧！抛掉所有的不开心，勇往直前!
让他看到你的心意，让他明白你的苦心。
让他感受你的爱，让他知道，
您的心里，
永远都会有他的位置。
最重要的是，爱与不爱，
只在你一念之间。

Water Rocket~

The first people who I saw is school is him!! My dear- Yen Wing!!! He was testing his water rocket for the assembly's show. I love him much!! By the way, I'm DAMN happy that because he got prize for his water rocket... ^^ But something made me very angry that is HIS WATER ROCKET HAD BEEN SPOIL!!! WTH..(sorry for the rude..) After the "show", his clothes is totally wet. Don't know why, I just had a feeling that is HUG him... Haha... I know I'm insane... kekezzz... Say the true, I'm really hate me much now... How could my appreciate made me lost him??? Why I'm so stubborn!??!! Why I can't just get into the bed when he called me go for sleep?!!! Anyway, it has pass, so I no need to care about it lo~~ kekez... But the most important thing I have to do now is chase back him.... Hehe... I know it is quite hard to sucess it la... but I just can't lost him ler... And I don't think he already don't love me anymore... This week is also our Minggu Pengambaran.. I had taken our class photo and also prefects photo... It was really funny argh~~kekezzz.... Me, Nicole, and Vyn Gie took the prefect photo together because I don't want to squeeze with those female prefects at the second row... You will not know how suffer is it...><
Kekezz... I just found out that Serena(my Boss) got blog~~ I know it is very usual la... but it is quite unbelievable that she is free to write blog.. (since she seems like very busy..)kekezzz... The first image that she'd gave me is terrifying... haha... And now I only know that she is a normal as us and she is also quite funny la... haha.. Anyway, I hope that she can become more friendly with her juniors since she is really looks like a dead woman for us...><

New Era Debate Competition

What The?! I got HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!!!

Yer... Why me lerh?? I don't want high blood pressure lerh... Haiz... Yesterday I was went to Saujana Jogathon for work.(Cause I can't run marh... kekezzz...). Most of the prefects and cadet police were walk to their check point position but I'm not~ kekezzz... Mr Iskandar fetch us there by car and we got a very shady and cool place to duty... haha~ By the way, my plan B was failed because of it... I thought we walk there so I can return the key chain to him and tell him what I'm thinking and what I want... Haiz.. Never mind la... Yesterday is our 4th months anniverssary but it seems like nothing changing... After jogathon we were went to New Era College for watching debate competition... The debate title is talking about economi so it was damn bored... kekezz... But luckily there got few leng zhai to see la.. haha...

I love You but why you dont?

Today I really have no mood... Injection and "boy girl realationship"...
After assembly, Cik Lim called me to bring Encik Nasar to the discipline room to can those ponteng students... While I was waiting outside there, I saw Jia Ern came out from the counselling room and walking foward to the discipline room... I'm trying to calm down but it is hard for me at the moment. However, it was over after few minutes since she was went away... When I reached to the prefect meeting, I saw all of them had lined up in group(2 ppl in 1 group). Yen Wing with Shi Yen in 1 group and I with Jia Ern... I feel happy cause Yen Wing is not in her group. haha... But Shi Yen they all keep calling Jia Ern to exchange the group with her so that she can same group with Yen Wing.. WAD THE "DOOT"!! I feel sad and uncomfortable suddenly since I heard what they said... It really made me feel embarrass... Haih... After we shift into the hall, my tears had fallen out and .... I cried... Because of it... I HATE XXX MUCH!!!! .... Why the guys always like those "cute" girls wan? And they always say: "She so lonely/ pity, so I play or joke with her lo...WTH!! I hate it lots... Everytime also like this... SO WHAT!?! Like I'm very tough like that... Haihzz... After recess, I found out that we gotta injection at the next period!! >< Actually I was afraid of injection.. A LOT... But I got no energy and mood to scare of it today... Haih... After injection, it is pain like hell!! (until now) It's not pain at the first actually, but don't know why it had be more painful afterwards...yer... yee... wooo....

心情和花语

心情，
就像凤仙花，
怀念过去。
满天星，
充满了我对你的想念。
曾经以为，
我们的爱，
就像天堂鸟的幸福，
可是我得到的，
确实秋水仙对我的遗忘。
剩下的，
也只有黄蜀葵，
反映着我的单恋和信任。
你，
就像名花蔷薇，
是个天才。
把我推入一个漩涡里，
有的，只是串铃花的悲恋。
分手后，
我希望你像黄百合一样的快乐，
可是你却否认了你的快乐。
我想送你紫色堇和海石竹，
希望你对我可以诚实以及告诉你我的体谅。
可是，这已经太迟了。
对你，
我就像一朵消失了白色矮牵牛，
在你心里，
已经不存在了。
当我知道，
你和她之间的暧昧关系，
我，
心里涌起了极度的嫉妒，
像孔雀草和八仙花一样，
要自私地把你给抢回来。
现在，
我只抱着报春花的希望，
虽然我知道白玫瑰再也不属于我。
因为，
我知道我不足以与你相配。
黄杨和白杨，
告诉我，
对爱情或任何事物，
都要坚定和勇气，
为自己努力一次，
勇敢追求自己想要的爱情！
因为白铃兰告诉我，
幸福即将到来。

I hope you will care about it....

Today I was quite happy but just for a while... First, I didn't get scold from Cik Margaret today and the second is finally I had completed the plan A!! wohoo~~~ And the thing which make me feel sad that is... He lose for the water rocket!!! haih... but anyway, I will still support him and love him. ^^
HOW I COMPLETE MY "PLAN A"?
Actually I was trying to steal it while assembly but since it is too short and his gang was around the hall, so i was gave up for it and planning to delay it until tomorrow. Since me and zhi xuen had nothing to do, so we were plan to steal it after school while they are having competition "water rocket". It was funny to steal it because we never steal anything before so it was very panic...
Firstly, we walk to the place where he put his bag and sit beside of it. After we make sure nobody is there(cause everyone was went to watch the competition of "water rocket"), we move move nearer so it is easier to steal and nobody will know...>< face="arial" color="#cccccc" size="4">OMG!!! And she is SABRINA!!!But luckily she didn't ask us anything(Sabrina is totally kind and she's funny!!!)~ Haha... Finally... Actually I also don't know why I want to steal it... But I just curios that why he want to put the key chain on his bag... Of course I'm happy la... But why he want to put it after we break?? Or he still miss-ing those moments when we are still together??? Haih..

如果有一天我不在，他会不会感觉到？

今天crystal生病了。这令我联想到一些东西：如果我死了，他会不会发现到我已经不存在了？又或者是他会不会想念我？今天原本编好了要在童军见面会后跟wai hong一起去吃东西的， 顺便可以叫他一起去嘛（借wai hong “过桥”）。。。 可是他今天却出去比赛，原本的计划就此宣布失败！！！><
可是至少我还看得到他几眼...可是想了又想，我应该高兴才是啊！他今天会迟回学校，那我不就可以在辩论的时候看到他咯！呵呵...
童军完了后，我和嘉伟（嘉恩的弟弟）出去吃早餐。当我玩着电话的时候，他突然间问我是不是跟Yen Wing SMS 着，我不知道应该给什么反应他，更有一种冲动想骂他。可是想想，他是局外人，为什么我要拿他来出气呢？更何况嘉伟是我在这么多学弟妹里面最疼爱的其中一个学弟，为了这些小事而拿它来出气呢？。^^
享用完了我的“美味早餐”后，我们就一起走回学校，碰巧遇见大城堡的辩论员荣森和一个女孩子。他们竟然不认得我们！！>< 唉呀，没关系啦，反正都不重要啦...呵呵...
回到学校的时候，看见那辆在他们去比赛的巴士回来了！哈哈...好开心哦！又可以见到他了...可是进到学校的时候，却看不见他。辩论的时候，教练跟我说我的气质很好（好开心哦！！）。可是我高兴得太早啦！他说我说话的时候表达能力有点差，说话语音有问题，还有说话的时候一直停下来想！！砸到！！！看来我得认真地检讨检讨咯...不然我永远都达不到我的梦想loo... 没有多久，我看见他已经回来了，而且还在那边打篮球咧！哈哈~由于辩论的时候有点闷（不是因为辩论不好玩，是因为他们正在谈着经济的东西，不合我的胃口啦！），所以咧，我就看看板外的风景咯...怎知道看见的却是他！忽然很开心，想要他看见我，可是我很清楚的知道，在他眼里，应该只有嘉恩的存在吧？不想让他和其他人看见我在藐视着他，所以我就一直扭转我的脑袋咯><~
其实，她真的是一个很大的威胁，她的好，真的是比我好很多。她很斯文，功课又好，很容易被人可怜和容易受人爱戴。怎么这些男生都是这样啊？说可怜人家，那谁来可怜我？怎么全部人都在高估我啊？以前我甩人的时候，高兴得很，可能现在的他跟我那时的心情是一样的吧？分手那一天，他一而再，再而三的球我原谅并且做回好朋友。可是，他却对我不理不睬，怎么嘛？？？=.=看着这个原本属于我的男人就这样被人抢走，心里真的很不愉快...甚至恨不得去掐着嘉恩的颈紧紧不放...好心苦啊！！！其实我一直在视着放下他，可是这却是一个难完成的事啊！他们好象觉得我以这都不放下，怎么嘛...我也很想放下他啊！！只是每次都失败而已嘛...又不是我的错嘛...

wad's tht mean??

yesterday zhi xuen was told me he'd put the key chain tht i gave him on his bag. why he put on it?? besides, he had taking the same colour file with me!! why lerh? i know tht everyone got their own choice, but why dont he buy another colour file?? =.=
haih... today when i was reached in school, jia ern and carmen were sitting beside the place where i put my bag. carmen called me to sit down and chat with her after i put my bag, wad to do? i just dont want ppl to think tht i am like tht kecil hati so i was chat with thm but never talk to jia ern.. am i bad??? however, i just cannot tahan tht she's close with him before i break with him somemore he's liking her! unfair!!! why she could do that to a guy who already have gf/??? =.=

haha~debate debate~

haih... No More Chance

Today went out for lunch with carmen and mushroom, i hope that we can go back to school faster for a look. At the last i just saw something that i dont want to see. he was sitting with jia ern at the canteen. wth.. suddenly i felt vry down and dunno wad to do... somemore dropped my bottle on the floor at the moment... what to do? i started to hate this girl while i saw this... how could she do that??somemore smile at me... i dunno wad to do suddenly so i just take my bag and my stuff and leave there.... cause i know the only thing i should do is leave, just dont want to get hurt and cry in front of them at the last... finally i know why mushroom said he dont want to dating before 18years old...it is really vry vry hurt when u break up... and it may effect your result also... haizzz.... how to put down everything without hurt??

Are You Happy???

he talked to me just now, in msn. he said i seem happy in this few days. who say so? haih... so what about him?? Are you happy now?? Did u regret since you had gave me up? actualy do u know that i am so regret to let u go and started to hate myself... wad to do?? my life suddenly become black and white becz of him... no more colour and warmless... if tht time i dont want to continue the conversation with him, are we still together now?? or if we dont want to talk until finish the exam, are we still together now?? haih... i realize tht i was become thinner since we broke up... dunno why, no mood to eat and feel like vry lonely after broke. so hard to face this problem right now. nvr think tht we cannot hold hand with each other, but it was happened. nvr think tht we will break up but it was happened too... wad to do?! maybe this is my luck... always bad luck... haiz...

dabate at new era college~

haha... debate members pic...^^

hopeless day...

dunno why, i feel like dun want to join anyone and feel like they dont want to join me anymore. i know that i should join them but they like dont want to choi me... anyway, i remember tht what i said to those ajk's and hope they wont tell anyone la... after interview, andrew and his friend ask me why choose yen wing as my bf...they looks like dont know we broke already. i tot they knew i broke with him before holiday wan/?? and he never tell anyone before?? haiz... today really really unlucky argh!! kena scold by magaret... y she always scold people wan??? haih... my result like playing slide with me... dunno how to take pmr exam after 100days....>< after koko, i was waited for my mom outside the gate. i feel like dont want to go out because he was sitting at there and waiting for his mom also.. since zhi xuen keep calling me to go out and i know tht she dont like me to keep waiting for him, so i have to go out. afer a while, he was coming out with wai hong also. i just felt like vry embarrased and dunno wad to do... should talk to him? or wad? at the last, he was joked with me. and wad could i reply him???haih...

connaught camp fire~

haha~ went to connaught camp fire on last saturday. it was fun but vry tiring.... a lot of dance and games had been prepared and everyone was going to crazy... besides, i saw my friends - quant tzhoe there and he was acting a sakai called wooga. he is the head of wooga and half naked when he was acting. it had show how nice is his muscles and it was soooooo cool!!! wahahahah~ anyway, i'm really enjoyed in this camp fire and had a lot of fun at there.

tired...

yo... thursday have to go new era again...debate, debate and debate...>< vry tired but it is fun! yesterday after i went to shopping, mama was drive through happy garden(near by his hse). she asked me whether i want to go and see where he live... suddenly i feel like vry down and sad. by the way, i know tht i have to put down everything. i just imagining tht if he become our ajk prefect, how could i face to him everyday and wad will i do when he order us to do something? haih... i shouldn't break with him wan... besides, han seng was messaged me and tell me tht he want me to become his gf... how to reject him lerh?? it's quite difficult but i know i have to do it... i just dont want to hurt ppl since i tried before... so how?=.=

debate~

whoa~~ hahaha~ debate members and coach~ peace!!!

just give up of u...^^

wad could i do? he already said tat he dont want gf... i cant take a gun and force him wan rite??haih... tht thing tht i onli can do is waiting... wait for him come back but i know it is impossible... even go out he also dont want... haih... have to go for debate on friday until saturday.. hope i can use this 2 day to forget him and start a new life... dunno why, i heard a song frm meetoto and i know the song i was heard before.. finally , i was realize. the song is LOVE STORY and i was heard it at pudu girl school. tht was the first drama i watch with yen wing and it was romantic... suddenly my tears was falling out again.. dunno why, i tot already put it down but i was keep thinking of it... suddenly hope everything can go back like last time... if can go back, i wont like tht stubborn and i wont let him go... but i know tht i wont happen. a lot of thm call me to put him down, but i still cannot do it even i tried a lot of many times... they call me must show tht how good am i after him and stop sms and chatting with him... but i feel tht it is vry hard for me... wad could i do now??? =.=